I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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