I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
