that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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