So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
