i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
