we have pet lesbian snakes
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize