I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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