why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
