just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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