guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
