No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
