When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
