that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
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