I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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