The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize
