i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
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just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
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The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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