May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize