Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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