So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Randomize
