haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
