I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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