Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
