that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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