there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
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