I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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