Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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