i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Never joke about your clitoris.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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