I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
