i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
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I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
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so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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