Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Randomize
