At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
