Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
