So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
