Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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