we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
