Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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