Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
try to milk me bitch
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