My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I'm always down for nudity.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
