i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
