Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I just had sex on a roof
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
