I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
