addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
