wanna go halves on a baby?
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
