if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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