You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
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