Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
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