I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
