Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
