doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
