if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
