I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
