i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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