I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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