OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
