This is not my ceiling
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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