btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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