she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
