Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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