you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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