I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
