You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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