how hairy? two words: wookie tits
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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