We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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