I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
